Little Book of Calm

Step 1: Innocent Person doing innocent things

Step 2: Said person dies a horrible painful death (usually screaming “AW GOD GET IT OFF ME WHAT THE HELL I THOUGHT SUPERNATURAL WAS JUST A TV SHOW”)

Step 3: Sam or Dean reads about it in the newspaper

Step 4: The other brother is like “AW I DUNNO MAN COULD JUST BE LIKE A SERIAL KILLER OR SOMETHING”

Step 5: Then the first one replies: “SHUT YO FACE YO LETS KICK DEMON SPIRIT ZOMBIE WHATEVER ASS”

Step 6: Deanpala.

Step 7: Talk to the local folks using fake IDs denoting them as Mr. and Mrs. President and find one dude who is like “Nope everything’s fine nothing wrong here PHILIP WOULD YOU STOP STABBING OUR VICTIM IN THE BACK WHILE THERE’S PEOPLE AT OUR DOOR so yeah nothing wrong here”

Step 8: Convince the guy to tell them about the demon zombie lobster dragon spirit.

Step 9: Dean says “HEY BRAH IMMA GO PUNCH THAT DEMON SQUIRREL SPIRIT SPIRIT IN THE FACE”

Step 10: Sam says “That’s not safe”—

“SHUT YO FACE BITCH” says Dean.

Step 11: INTO THE LAIR OF THE DEMON SPIRIT THING THING

Step 12: Salt and burn the bones (Even if it’s at the bottom of a GODDAMN LAKE, goddamn it, then SALT AND BURN THE LAKE!)

Step 13: Deanpala off into the sunset.